today started with a fall as i woke up and find out that the paip in kitchen broke... i ran to off the paip, n me bein blonde, slipped on floor n fall... but i thought this nt goin to influence my day... i got ready n went to college...dressed vry nice for the date after class... in class, i was the saviour for few frens, as they cleared last minutes doubt with me bout economics.. now i thought maybe my life aint that bad.. i kinda smart....thn after test, had lil discussions with frens bout assignments n all.. thn i walked frm 5th floor all the way to intima hall in my hooker heels.. i saw guna thr..felt happy.. after sendin crystal back, guna n me went to a&w to makan.. we talked n laughed n managed to have lil disagreement n more laughters... thn we finally decide to leave.. it was burnin like hell in the car, so we just sat in car with the door open.. thn suddenly he took out a teddy bear n gave me(valentine's day gift).. i felt touched, tears tried to flow creatin dramas.. bt i manage to fight back the tears... thn we move on.. we had a lil chit chat in car...i was still huggin my teddy bear... thn once we reach college n parked, i told him close eyes n kissed him on the cheeks thn whn he opened his eyes he kissed me back... it was all so baeutiful.. i came back hime being happy n excited... thn just whn i was about to blog this happy day of my life, god decided to take a twist as he always do.. family fights.. ppl practically yellin at each other n blamin each other.. seriously, is this wad ppl call family.. will this be the last event in my life if i die tomoro.. is this wad gona be in my mind if i die? thn i remembered family problems plus sisters family problem.. is family always quarellin? i knw that family gt prob bt do they always have problem? n is it ok to hate ur family members... i mite be the youngest bt i mite be most matured in family.. i too have personal disagrees with my family.. bt i nvr show them, cuz its ok to hurt myself, but its a sin to hurt others. we gt no rights to hurt others.. if i started to be like others thn i would practically be the family's enemy.. i had disagree moments wid each family member that still make me cry till today:
*dad- nvr a gud father(if giving money n educatin kids can be father thn i take back my words). tellin own daughter "dun forget u still eat food frm my money" (do fathers say that) are we suppose to payback ?
*mum-always get emotional n get things wrong sometimes(not her faults though)
*1st sis- the reason i doin accounts(tii this moment i hate accounts wid all my heart)... but i wanted to prove to her i can, all those incident happen last years..only god knows how much i cried.. i will nvr love accounts bt i will do thousand times better thn anyone to show that i am capable! n that i drop accounts because of u n nt that i cant cope up..nobody understood that i need time last year
*2nd sis- always gettin angry n comin into my personal business(by gettin angry she is tearin everyone's heart &im old enuf to think rational, u dun have to check on my bf or my guy frens)
3rd sis- one word she said n till today i feel like dyin ("ratna, u think u makin mum happy? you r being bad child, u knw")... i definitely din knw i was dat horrible..n everytime i tried to dress up nicer, she still look prettier.. she smarter n parents love her since she follows wad they say..parents were always unfair to me... she fail driving test like a million time, n they still paid for her bt for me, they din even bother signin me up(they tell my horoscope nt bad, honestly as long as i stay in this house, my horoscope will nvr be gud. so wads the diff?) both of us dress up n first thing mum say "latha look nice in any baju la"...(i always feel so 'gud' hearin that)....
so wad u expect me to do? honestly nowadays even cuttin myself doesnt hurt cuz the pain at heart more hurtin... i could feel the heart being twisted n turned.... i love my guy, bt nt only he can make me happy..thats obvious frm today.. my family has big impact on me... no matter how hard i try to be happy, no point cuz endin is nvr happy...its a curse to my family.. im pretty sure i only told only 20% of wads in my heart, if i tell more, thn i probably need a caunselor d! there is more in my life that not anyone knows... i would like to tell only one thing, we mite die any time... so lets not make life hell for others... its better to suffer urself thn makin others suffer.... ppl makes mistakes bt lets not make a drama out of dat... just leave it n move on...
-the blonde who wishes that she will nvr wake up after tonight-
scary kan?
